Coming of Age in the Middle Years

Thousands of books have been written about becoming an adult.  So many so, that there is a genre for these books – “Coming of Age” novels.  They usually have to do with  anxious teen years and first loves, rebellion and realization.  They’ve been made into movies too, we know them all, and in fact John Hughes made a very successful career telling this story over and over again on the big screen. 

There are several “coming of age” times in a person’s life in addition to that one so talked about in novels.  You can name them: first job, marriage, birth of first child, retirement etc.  One of the more subtle ones I’m finding out about takes place in middle age when you’re facing 50 and trying to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. 

Recently, I read two novels on this subject.  I didn’t plan to read them together, but it just worked out this way.  One from a woman’s perspective and another from a man’s.   

Contents May Have Shifted

By Pam Houston

Pam Houston is one of my favorite quiet authors.  She has written extensively for magazines and has penned a few wonderful novels that I have loved.  She lives the life I think of in fantasy terms: a beautiful ranch in Colorado, a life traveling the world and teaching at writing programs.  She’s in her late forties and I find her writing poignant and her perspective timely. 

This book chronicles a mostly autobiographical character through her midlife transition from dating to monogamy, from nomadic life to a grounded one.  It’s a series of vignettes from her (or the character’s) life as she works through this time while traveling all over the world, experiencing heartache and love and healing her soul on her way to a new way of living.

While I enjoyed the book, its not my favorite of Houston’s.  Her short story collection Cowboys Are My Weakness and her book about her dogs, Sight Hound are much better.  This one was entertaining in her stories of far off lands and adventures, but the psychological journey she took is not so well told.  In the end, she does reach a sort of peace with herself but the reader is left to wonder about whether it’s temporary or not.  Maybe that’s the real truth here…that we never know. 

The Book of Joe
By Jonathon Tropper

Now for the male perspective.  Jonathon Tropper’s book is about a guy, raised in small town Connecticut that writes a tell-all, scathing book about a terrible incident that took place his senior year in high school.  Joe, is summoned back to the town to say goodbye to his distant father as he lays in the hospital and is confronted by the angry townspeople who haven’t forgiven him for his literary portrayal.  He reunites with old friends and family, puts the incident that so shaped his young life to bed, and learns how to redefine his life as he moves forward.

Jonathon Tropper has won my literary heart.  His plot is interesting and well crafted.  His prose is snarky and real and his characters ring so true.  While Joe is younger (late 30’s) he has done a lot of living for his age and is realizing that his life as a self proclaimed asshole is not a fulfilling one. I think an important lesson for many men in midlife.  Tropper confronts a lot of issues in the book and brings them to a real and unexpected conclusion.  The book flies from cover to cover and makes a great vacation read.